This New Year, I Resolve: To Not Make Any Resolutions

Want to know why? Because the opposite will happen. Whether it’s Murphy’s Law, or my children are conspiring, I’ve learned that the Law of Opposites is in charge in our house. When I expect a heartwarming, memory-making family day (like the recent holidays), the children decide to go to war. When I expect an awful, long, teeth-grinding day (like when everyone is home sick), we have fun and make memories and capture our best candid photos. Go figure.

There are many things I want to accomplish this year. I want to write a book. I want to scrub the grime from the past three years of toddlerhood off my walls. I want to exercise, eat better, and lose 15 pounds. But I know that at the end of some days as a stay-at-home mom, I’ll barely be able to speak a coherent sentence, much less write one, and that someone will paint my walls with Gogurt right after I clean them. I know that I’ll simply have to eat chocolate on those days and never mind the calories, because sometimes the emotional relief is more beneficial to my sanity than the loss of a pound.

These children have accomplished what nothing else in my previous 33 years ever did: They turned this control freak into a person who accepts spontaneity and chaos. I accept, but I still have to be reminded. It’s all about expectations. This New Year is exciting because Big Sister starts all-day kindergarten and the twins turn 3. Because those are huge milestones for us, I’ve been expecting to see the finish line. The intense baby days are over, and we can finally enjoy bigger kids and getting our grownup life back! Boy, was I reminded during today’s multi-tasking and tantrum marathon that we’re not there yet.

The variety in each day here is endless, and fascinating, if I let myself notice in the midst of the chaos. I don’t know when the kids will wake up and in what order. I don’t know what (or if) the 2 year olds will eat. I don’t know if it’ll be a pee-on-the-potty or a pee-on-the-floor day. I don’t know if it’ll be a sharing/loving day or a fighting/scratching/biting day. (That can change minute by minute too.) Those are a lot of unknowns for a control freak like me!

So, while I don’t resolve anything this year, I hope to let go of expectation, to be open to spontaneous adventure, and to notice the golden moments that are the reward during these awful years. Or, if I can’t manage all that, then I plan to expect horrible, miserable, tantrum-filled days and hope that the Law of Opposites continues to work!

9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Margo Dill
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 20:58:41

    Abby,
    Great post and I love what you said about needing chocolate at the end of some of those days. Actually, sometimes, I need wine–and I only have one! 🙂

    Happy New Year!

    Reply

  2. Beth Louw
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 21:09:18

    You do notice the “golden moments”….pee on the floor, on the bed, on the potty…..
    😛

    Reply

  3. abbyplambeck
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 21:41:00

    Margo, there’s plenty of wine here too! 🙂

    Beth, LOL, and so very true!

    Reply

  4. jcnierad
    Jan 06, 2012 @ 20:29:44

    Great non-resolution, Abby! While this post scared me to think of what the next 3 years hold for my life, it also gave me hope that I too (fellow control freak) can ever so slightly loosen my grip on the reigns of my life and just enjoy.

    Reply

    • abbyplambeck
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:29:48

      Jess, there really is plenty of good to balance the scares. As for the scares, take photos and write about it, and then you can laugh after you recover! 🙂 Hope your New Year is off to a great start. I’m getting back into writing and will contact you soon about guest posting!

      Reply

  5. Bonnie Pape
    Jan 06, 2012 @ 22:28:50

    Very enjoyable to read. I’m so bummed that we missed you over Christmas. I still need to catch up with you on the phone. We have so many similar experiences!!!

    Love,
    Bonnie

    Reply

  6. jrm
    Jan 09, 2012 @ 01:37:50

    Hmmmmm, elderberries and dark chocolate are good anytime of the day, right?

    Reply

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