Full Circle

photo 1Do you hear that? It’s the sound of this rusty old blog opening up again. The dust covers are coming off with a snap. There’s still dust in the air, but I think it will settle. It’s been 2 ½ years since I wrote. My last entry was a bit of a pout about how life was changing. Oh my, has it changed! Now that my hindsight is 20/20, I’m so grateful. Big Sister, and Mr. and Miss Twin were the stars in the old entries, and we’ve now added a Little Sister, who entered onstage in a pretty dramatic way (https://abbyplambeck.wordpress.com/2012/11/12/a-trio-becomes-a-quartet-but-wheres-the-music/). Now that she’s here, we can’t imagine life any other way.

When I last wrote, Big Sister had just started kindergarten. Now, she’s almost 8 (going on 13). Mr. and Miss Twin were 3 and had just started preschool. Now, they’re in kindergarten. Little Sister was just a grainy, black-and-white photo; a surprise, then an insurgent, then a hope, then a miracle. Now, she’s a toddler, and I’ve come full circle, back to the experiences written about in my previous entries, and needing to consult my own advice!  (In particular, how to get a toddler to eat: https://abbyplambeck.wordpress.com/2012/02/02/dinner-in-a-cupcake-tin/)

I’ve come full circle, but with a new perspective. When I had three children ages 3 and under, I couldn’t imagine life being any harder. Well. Now, I know it can be. Despite twin potty training calamities and applesauce poured down a heat vent, I actually had a lot of control over our life. I determined where they went and when, what they ate, when they went to bed, which art projects they did, and who they played with.

Now, we’re into a new stage, when they’re in school and activities, and out of my sight most of the day. I can no longer see what they eat for lunch, monitor who they play with (and fight with) at recess, and hear what they whisper about in the library. They’re coming home with new ideas, challenging questions, changing bodies, and a whole new social life, which wears out this introverted mom way more than twin toddlers did, because it’s something more than physical exhaustion, it’s mental and emotional too. My to-do list is insane, the phone is always ringing, the emails are always dinging, the papers are always overflowing my counters, and the children are always hungry!

Yet, I keep volunteering. Why? Because I still want to be part of their daily lives. Because I want to know who their friends are. Because I’m fascinated by how my babies are turning into people, with their own dreams and questions and brilliance and mistakes, and I want to watch the process and learn from it too. I used to despair over a messy house. That mess hasn’t changed much, but now we’ve added emotional messiness, and that’s certainly harder to clean up.

Now, when my 2 year old dumps out a bin of toys, or demands chocolate at 7 a.m., or colors on my walls, it’s easier to take it in stride and to set boundaries. I see the results in the older kids, and hindsight has shown me that this innocent stage is short and sweet. Little Sister is already catching up to them way too quickly. I learned with small twins that every stage has its pros and cons, and the grass always seems greener elsewhere. I feel pretty blessed to be able to compare the grass on both sides of the fence now, and to find sweetness on both sides. The applesauce is still in the heat vent, and serves as a reminder that not everything can be cleaned up perfectly, and that’s okay. It also makes great blackmail for Mr. Twin. 😉

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lynda
    Mar 10, 2015 @ 15:03:20

    LOVE, LOVE THIS BLOG! So glad you are beginning to use it again. Thanks for sharing your delightful insights on parenthood, etc.

    Reply

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